Rejoice, movie lovers—your cinematic experience is about to get a whole lot better. On Thursday, a trade organization representing theater operators announced that eight of the biggest theater chains in the U.S. and Canada are planning to invest $2.2 billion to modernize their properties. The changes will reportedly bring better picture quality, better sound, and, in some cases… ziplines.
The upcoming renovations, which will take place over the next three years, were announced Thursday by the National Association of Theater Owners, or NATO (not to be confused with the military alliance). In a press release, the trade org stated that the following chains will be investing in the renovations: AMC Entertainment Inc., Regal Cinemas, Cinemark USA, Inc., Cineplex, Marcus Theatres Corp., B&B Theatres, Harkins Theatres, and Santikos Entertainment.
Weirdly enough, these renovations may include features that sound better suited for the local theme park than the place you hole up to watch the new A24 movie. Variety reports that some theaters intend to install zip lines, bowling alleys, and pickleball courts, in an apparent effort to win over more families.
“Consumers today are very demanding and they want to have a range of things that they can do in any given setting,” Michael O’Leary, president and CEO of NATO, said, of the changes. O’Leary didn’t share further details about these developments, leaving us all to ponder the viability of a night out that includes both a death-defying 30 mph zipline excursion AND a contemplative two hours spent stuffing popcorn and Milk Duds down your gullet.
For the most part, the upcoming changes will focus on making theaters’ current accommodations nicer. This will include installing the latest “laser projection technology and immersive sound systems,” adding “more comfortable seating,” and providing better “food and beverage offerings,” NATO says. “It’s [about] making sure that the seats are comfortable and there’s a whole range of seating options that are available to moviegoers,” said O’Leary. “Making sure that all of those things exist and that you have good lighting, good signage, but also in the actual auditorium itself that you have great sound and great projection.”
Some of what is being offered here sounds pretty good. For instance, a lot of theaters currently offer markedly lower picture quality than can be found on your average flat-screen TV. Better picture quality, better sound, and, potentially, better food and drinks (I’m imagining less dried hotdogs and more, like, Alamo-Draft-House-type offerings) would be great.
That said, a better overall strategy to get butts in the seats might just be to make the overall experience cheaper. The average cost of movie tickets in the U.S. is somewhere around $12-15 per stub, depending on where you live. If you’re unlucky enough to live in an expensive urban metropolis—like, say, New York City—tickets can cost upwards of $20. The website for the Regal on Union Square, for instance, tells me that I can see Deadpool & Wolverine for $23.49 plus a $1.89 fee. That’s insane. Obviously, if you buy a beer and/or a popcorn, your overall cost for a movie-going experience in the Big Apple is going to crest the $50 range, which is roughly the same price as having a nice meal at a fancy restaurant—this, to sit in a sticky recliner and watch Ryan Reynolds tell jokes. Now do the math for a family.
When I go to the movies, I generally just want two things: for the movie to be good, and to not have to drop a ton of cash to watch it. Lately, Hollywood hasn’t really been delivering on either of those fronts. Until it does, I don’t think a zipline is really going to make much of a difference.
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